What are you hiding in your nooks and crannies - ep. 1

Empowerment Coaching Blog - What are you hiding 1

"During my 30+ years of practice, I was fortunate enough to learn about this and, in some cases, spend a lot of time with many outstanding teachers of personal and spiritual development.

If I were to name one highly developed skill that would be common to all of them, it would be AWARENESS.

Although it is hard to believe, consciousness has answers to all personal challenges. Consciousness is closely related to intuition and creativity. The more aware you are, the more obvious the solutions to the problems appear to you, and the more common everyday problems actually sort themselves out.

The less aware you are, the more you feel there are no solutions to your life's troubles, and the more likely you are to unknowingly attract situations and people that you don't want. Zen master Genpo Roshi once told me that what you are not aware of will sooner or later become a trap in which your life will get stuck. So expanding your awareness is a very rewarding endeavor.

When you meditate or use any other methods that open you to unconscious aspects of yourself - you also discover parts that you may not like. At first, you start to feel resistance to aspects of yourself that you don't like.

Resistance, however, is something that YOU generate, not something that happens to you.

You create resistance through internal representations of what you do not want (e.g. internal pictures or internal dialogues). When this happens, you start to feel bad because inner representations are the source of your well-being. Also, to make it worse, your mind is figuring out how to attract more of what you're focusing on - in this case, what you're based on.

One of the things that make it difficult to expand awareness is our tendency to displace those elements that we consider wrong or inappropriate. And while it makes us feel better in the short term, it causes all kinds of problems in the end. What we push to the underworld of our consciousness will eventually become visible anyway. And worse, it will expose itself in a covert and dysfunctional way, causing serious trouble.

An extreme example would be a conservative preacher who is caught in an unequivocal situation with his underage parishioners. As a result of denying, in his opinion, sinful sexuality, it is released anyway, but in a sick, dysfunctional way.

It is also an example of how thinking about what we do not want actually causes more of this aspect to appear in our lives. By thinking, "I don't want to be a sinner," the preacher creates or attracts more and more of what he thinks is sin. His sexuality ultimately hurts both him and others.

We are all suppressing a variety of human qualities that we think are bad or indecent. Many of the difficulties we face in life are the result of these orphan parts of ourselves that psychologists call shadows. Once abandoned, they reappear in an immature way. And in fact, by abandoning them, we attract them more strongly.

Working with hundreds of thousands of people, I've discovered that nearly every sense of human unhappiness has to do with repressed and orphaned aspects of oneself. If an area of your life is not working, you can be sure it has to do with the SHADOW.

Shadows are areas we are not aware of, and re-owning them broadens our awareness, giving us more choices.

In this post, I would like to share an interesting look at a certain phenomenon, a game that we teach all new members of the human race - The White and Black Game. As you will see later, as soon as you become aware of how you play this game, you will be able to choose how you want to play it and thus you will be able to eliminate a huge amount of unnecessary suffering from your life.

In every society, there is a certain agreement about what is "good" and what is "bad". We are also dealing with different versions of this agreement, depending on the family in which we are brought up. What is considered "bad" in one family will be OK in another. In one family, excellence can be a very positive quality, while in another, a child who surpasses others may hear: “Who do you think you are ?! Do you consider yourself better than others? "

Whatever the values ​​of our family were, we received positive reinforcement for those who were considered right and we were condemned to those who were considered negative qualities. We have learned that it is not safe to express those values ​​that have been held to be negative in our family or culture. In order to avoid expressing them, we stopped being their owners, which means that we pushed them to the underworld of our consciousness.

As I mentioned before, we never really get rid of these repressed parts. They leak out of us in a hidden, dysfunctional way. In fact, I'll risk saying that almost everything that bothers you in your life is the result of the shadows that you ceased to own at some point in your life.

Suppose anger is a bad thing for you.