About the art of making choices. Family

Ryszard Skarbek
May 16, 2023
2 min read

Updated: Mar 17, 2025

Coaching for Fun - About the art of making choices. Family - 1

Eh, family! Almost everyone has it. And what our family is like, we find out best during Christmas or family anniversaries. It seems that of the two evils it is better to have this family. Because loneliness is terrible. But are you sure? Let's listen to an anecdote about family and see how the lack of it can be an advantage. The anecdote comes from Anthony de Mello's book, "The Prayer of the Frog".

An anecdote about family and the art of making choices

The family gathered for dinner. The eldest son announced that he was going to marry the girl who lived across the street.

"But her family didn't leave her a penny," her father objected.

"And she didn't save a cent herself," added the mother.

“He doesn't know football,” said the younger brother.

“I've never met a girl with such funny hair,” said the sister.

“She only reads novels,” said the uncle.

“She dresses so tastelessly,” added my aunt.

“But she doesn't skimp on powders and makeup shadows,” Grandma added.

"That's true," said the boy, "but he has one advantage over us."

"What?" everyone wanted to know.

"She has no family."

What else does this anecdote tell us about the art of a happy life?

Leo Tolstoy uttered an interesting golden thought:

All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

So maybe there is a recipe for creating a happy family. And perhaps this recipe is given to us by Nature. Nature likes balance. If there is too much or too little of something in it, it naturally brings the state into balance. So if something is overwhelming you, if there is too much of something in your life - don't feel bad about trying to reduce it or trying to introduce other elements - to achieve a healthy balance.

As Tove Jansson wrote in her sentence: "Family needs to be aired from time to time". Also in this metaphorical sense. That is, for example, introducing more fresh air into it or getting rid of bacteria and germs.

So let's end our discussion of exaggeration, overwhelm, and excess in Life with this thought: