Acceptance Coaching. What's more important: the journey or the destination?


Empowerment Coaching Blog-Acceptance coaching

The Western world is goal-oriented. It's driven by achievement. The journey is less important, the most important is where we are to get. It is no coincidence that there is so much training and studies on how to effectively set and achieve goals in our culture. Their implementation (or not) in a way determines our value.


But isn't this a trap we push ourselves into? Are we not trying to assume the role of the Almighty in this way? What do I mean by that? Let me explain.


When everything is going well, we are satisfied. Our self-esteem grows. We begin to rise above the ground. We get wings. We break our limitations. We grow. It's a fantastic feeling. And it is good that it is so.


The challenge comes when things don't go your way. Exactly - the keyword here is THINK. When things turn out to be inconsistent with our expectations, our attitude is actually the cause of our suffering (see please: Byron Katie – who would you be without your story?).


I do not mean to say that when we encounter difficulties, we should give up. The point is not to create unnecessary resistance. Everything we resist grows stronger. Please think about it for a moment. It works like Newton's third law of motion in the emotional world.


So there is a nuance involved in our emotional response to unexpected turns of events. Too often, I think we give a wrong meaning to such a situation that creates a dangerous thought loop in us that causes negative feelings: frustration, doubt, loss of self-esteem, etc., etc.


We are then unable to accept things as they are. We are still stuck in the area of ​​our expectations, stubbornly attached to what we think it should be. And this is what I meant when I wrote that we assume the role of Almighty God. As if everything depended on us. As if we had the power to change everything in this world.


Yet "many roads lead to the top." Life is often smarter than us. The easiest way is not always the best. Besides, if someone walks the same paths over and over again, if he does the same - how can he expect changes in his life? How can he learn something essentially qualitatively different?


"Experience is something you get when you don't get what you want." Randy Pausch Author of the book "The Last Lecture"

All the "successful people" of the Western world (ie, those who have achieved financial wealth) consistently and consistently repeat: you want to achieve success, prepare for failure. The bigger it is, the bolder the challenge you put in front of yourself, the greater the number of failures along the way will be.


And the wise truth is that there are no failures in life. There is only feedback from the world. It's a hard truth, but experiencing it within yourself can cause amazing changes in the level and frequency of feeling joy and inner peace. However, it is not enough to know about this truth on an intellectual level, it is not enough to admit it. It must appear deep in our consciousness, in the place of today's reigning beliefs.


And perhaps there is an even wiser truth ?! What if in a committed, motivated, mobilized, focused pursuit of the goal, we irrevocably miss something important?

For example, what he writes about in the book "Big Panda and Tiny Dragon" James Norbury 😉



See also:

Human Personal Development - ep. 1

What are you hiding in your nooks and crannies - ep. 1

Life itself - how much can you take?

Byron Katie – who would you be without your story?

#PersonalDevelopment #goals #humility #acceptance #awareness #happinness #joy #coaching #coachingonline #mentoring

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