How did you sleep today? In what mood did you get up? Do you know what you will be doing today? Will you count this day as successful? Or maybe the view of the weather outside the window brought you down again? Does the weather really matter so much? Does it decide about your well-being or you do? Or maybe it doesn't matter because you always feel lonely anyway - even in a crowd?
How to get rid of the feeling of loneliness in a crowd?
Each of us is looking for a recipe for a happy life. We observe the world. We talk to people. We are watching others. We read books. We browse the internet. We form our own idea of the game's rules that govern this world. And we are constantly looking for the right answers. If we have a smart mentor, great. If we can take our parents' wise advice, so much the better. If their life is/was successful, I think we are born in a bonnet (i.e. a happy family).
In any case, however, we have to make the final choices ourselves. Even when we let others decide for us.
Who's right? Is it someone who prefers a quiet, moderate life, or someone who constantly takes risks and wants more from life? Where is the golden mean?
SHOULD someone with a good job, successful family life, healthy children, and more money than most people in the country AUTOMATICALLY BE HAPPY?
After all, (s)he does not lack anything. So many people today lose their job or live in constant fear that they may lose jobs any day.
Why, then, a person with successful family life supported by financial security, does not feel this happiness?
We compare ourselves with others. It's a natural process. We are looking for the verification of our beliefs in the outside world, and the correctness of our decisions. Isn't it the case that we often say "Others have it worse" (especially in more difficult times) and thus we try to convince ourselves that we SHOULD be satisfied with our lives? That we should be grateful for what we have and, in fact, be happy. And yet …
Loneliness in the face of the world
If you take a closer look at the very essence of our existence, it is hard to disagree with the conclusion that we are actually always alone in the face of the whole world.
There is always our self and all the rest. We come into this world ourselves and we will leave it ourselves. And I do not want to discuss here whether this 'self' is "a little I" (i.e. the ego), or "the big I" (i.e. part of the Divine Wholeness). Many years (or even lifetimes) may pass before we reach the stage of enlightenment, in which we are fully unified with Divine Consciousness. Before that, we are simply alone and we look for our own way more or less consciously.
This conclusion alone seems quite overwhelming. But are you sure?
I will risk the thesis that our reaction to this statement is a great litmus test showing at what stage of our personal development we are.
Because at the root of this lonely relationship with the world is something even more fundamental, namely how we feel WITH OURSELVES.
Because first and foremost, every morning we wake up first with ourselves. But does it have to be lonely or could it be something else? Are we doomed to "loneliness in the crowd" and does it really have to be an overwhelming feeling?
What if it could be otherwise? How? Please take a look at the Wisdom Pill below and answer the question yourself.
What is the key to overcoming loneliness?
I believe that each of us has a specific lesson to do. If in our life we will do other people's homework, even with the best results - it will not change anything. We won't move on to our next grade anyway. And life will still bring us more chances to learn this most important (for us) lesson.
Therefore, the biblical parable of the talents speaks to me very much. So let's not stop at the small. Let us fully realize OUR potential. Let us not waste the talents with which we have been gifted and let us not allow ourselves to be persuaded that there is the only right way to happiness. I think that everyone has their own and unfortunately (or rather, fortunately) we have to discover it ourselves.
Therefore, Dear Reader, please approach also my words with an appropriate distance 🙂
ps. I really liked a sentence I read once in one of the famous American 'gurus' about personal development. It sounded more or less like this: "Each author teaches what he struggles most with himself" (?!)
See also other coaching stories and parables: