Today I am dusting off a text written quite a few years ago. It is a "photo" taken on the path of my personal development, capturing the difficulties and dilemmas I struggled with myself. As I often say "we are all on the same journey", maybe this text today will help someone else.
"I am at a stage in my life where my priorities are being redefined. My children - sorry, almost adult sons - will soon leave the house and start living their lives. This separation has already had its place. more important than my father. I remember when I first realized that this process was beginning. It was the moment when I offered them to go to the cinema together. There was a silence that was a signal that something was wrong. to reveal the painful truth (for me) that for them going to the cinema with their father is embarrassing.
Then it dawned on me that this was the moment. That the stage of opening the suitcase begins. Because bringing up children is like a suitcase: what you put in it, then you take it out 🙂
So I had to start accepting that I was no longer needed. At least in the same way as before. And then I also realized that a second youth was opening up for me. Whether and how I use it depends on me. I realized that the fact of raising children at the age of just over 40 is a great opportunity to use.
My boyfriends were born when my wife and I were in our twenties. The first few years were very difficult. The more that we didn't have any grandparents on the spot and we had to deal with everything ourselves. Today, however, being where I am and looking at people of comparable age who still need many years to bring their children to adulthood, I feel ... free 🙂
I believe that this period of life is difficult for many people. There is an emptiness, "after the loss" of children, who were the essence of all activities for the last dozen or so years. The question is what to do with the rest of your life. "Too young to sleep, too old to sin."
And youthful dreams and questions about passions return. Often, there is also a feeling of loneliness and, if not in marriage, a longing for "true love" and the feeling of being loved. If we are professionally fulfilled and financially secure, we look for opportunities for further individual development, and over time we start to do more and more for others and for the community.
If the first half of our lives have not worked out, I'm afraid we spend our time watching TV series about the lives of others. And we console ourselves that it is not easy for others.
I am lucky to be able to dance. Recently, we have taken part in other tournaments. And it just so happens that we always stood on the box. The last tournament was held in Nowy Targ. It was a special event because, for the first time in Poland, a tournament was organized only for the senior categories. And for that great thanks to the organizer of this event, Leszek Kusiak from the "Hart" Ballroom Dance Club in Nowy Targ.
It was basically a small Polish championship in our categories. All of Poland came. The tournament ran from 12:00 noon until the results were announced at 10:00 pm. A real marathon. The next day I was unconscious. Everything hurt, including my hair and nails. And although we didn't do the best - in our age category, in standard style, we took second place!
It's really nice to look at the growing collection of medals, cups, and photos. When I am a grandfather, sitting in slippers in a rocking chair, I will be happy to return to these moments. And I will proudly brag about these trophies to my grandchildren.
But the most important thing I want to tell them is that you must have passions in life. They give it meaning. And when we are closer to the end than farther, we don't really regret what we did, but what we did not dare to do. "