Life doesn't always go as smoothly as we'd like. We all face challenges, moments of stress, and even traumatic experiences. The good news is that by being vigilant observers, we can learn to deal with difficult experiences.
Before we start the story of resilience, I want to make sure we have the same understanding of the term. The English word resilience can be understood in two ways:
1. resilience in the face of adversity
2. resilience, as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties
So in our post, we will understand resilience as the ability to deal with and grow beyond adversity. It can be learned and mastered, which in turn helps us to adaptively solve life's difficulties.
Resilience in the face of adversity
Here are the main tips on how to deal with adversities in our life.
Building resilience - cultivate a close relationship
As human beings, we crave a sense of belonging. Having a social support network is strongly related to your mental and physical health. When it comes to facing adversity, these relationships will strengthen your resilience and provide a sense of relief, reassurance, and what is extremely important: feeling that you are not alone in a difficult moment.
We often have a reflexive tendency to isolate ourselves in times of trouble. This is especially true of men who avoid admitting their weaknesses. The direction should be the opposite. It's a good idea to talk to a friend, family member, or mentor.
Developing resilience - practice self-regulation
We all experience thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that do not serve us well in dealing with situations. Developing the ability to change these feelings in your favor is a key part of resilience.
While you often can't control external factors, you can regulate your internal response to them.
One of the powerful tools that we often forget is our breathing. For example, by increasing the length of your exhalations, you can affect the sympathetic nervous system and return to a feeling of peace and security. At the same time, you turn off the instinctive response of the sympathetic nervous system called "Fight or flight".
People often try to over-control everything in their lives. It gives them a sense of security or power (and ultimately security as well). The basic element of resilience is the ability to accept those elements that you cannot control in a given situation and not spend your mental and emotional energy on them. This practice of acceptance does not mean surrender, but it allows you to focus your energy on those aspects that are within your control.