Today will be a bit about the Internet, blogs, and human loneliness. I do not have everything in order yet, and at the moment I do not know how my thoughts will go further. However, I like this state. This moment, when a certain reflection appears and, like a beautiful girl, tempts: follow me, find out more, you will find yourself ...
"Life is for living, not for understanding"
Loneliness at what cost?
If you feel loved, if you accept yourself, you think that you are valuable. Regardless of external circumstances. So you don't need to gain this self-esteem by constantly acting, by confirming yourself in it, and by achieving external goals.
The need for love is associated with loneliness. The theme of human loneliness is a river theme. We constantly move between our loneliness and individual identity during our journey on this Earth and being with someone, or with a group, at the cost of possible compromises.
I guess there have been times for all of us when someone let us down when he broke his word when we felt cheated. Heartbreak is perhaps one of the most painful. Then there are inner resolutions: as he could do this to me; I will never let myself be hurt again; how I was so naive; now I will be tough; I do not need anyone; I need to take more care of myself; it's better to have your world than to expose yourself to such pain.
We then move to the edge of being alone at the cost of security and peace. But it's only a matter of time before we go back to our balance and start looking for real, deep contact with other human beings.
Can you develop in complete solitude?
For I believe that we are so constructed. Only through contact with another living person, we can truly experience ourselves. Hence the quote at the beginning of this post.
At the present stage of my life, I do not believe that you can "invent" yourself, or "meditate" yourself. Or without any living contact with another human being, you can truly experience who you are, or truly understand who you would like to be and who you are not.
Neale Donald Walsch in his book series entitled "Conversations with God" writes about the fact that even God, despite being perfect and full in essence, created this world to be able to constantly experience themselves. And create anew again and again. Through the action of each of us.
Loneliness on the Internet
And at this point of "high C," we go to the Internet. I believe that in human nature there is a need for contact with a LIVE man. According to various studies, our words constitute only 15-25% of our message. More than 70% is a non-verbal message: body language, physical distance, voice timbre, speaking pace, eye expression, facial expression, emotions, and what we perceive beyond our 5 senses. So how can you read all of this on the Internet? Even interactive video can never do that.
If we treat the Internet as a great source of readily available knowledge, that's OK. But this is not where life is. We are not born with an automatically created account on an internet forum. We figured it out ourselves (and that's good), but it's also up to us how wisely we use it.
Contacts on the Internet will never replace contact with a living person. They will always be accompanied by an element of superficiality. Often downright anonymity. Why are so many people hiding under pseudonyms on the Internet? What are we afraid of? Are we ashamed of ourselves?
You could say I'm shooting myself in my shoes right now. Because what is it: a guy who runs a blog denies the meaning of the Internet? Wouldn't I want you to come here and discuss it?
But I think you can see what I want to say in this post. And I will also try to answer the above questions immediately.
When being on your own doesn't mean being lonely
I am writing because I like it. Because I enjoy it. True. The most important time for me is when, like now, I tap the keys. When thoughts drift down to that internet window. These are creative moments. This is my way of being creative in life.
The creation itself has value for me. It is a joy to be in this creation. Expressing yourself. So I do it largely for myself 🙂 The moments are the most important, NOT THEIR EFFECT (although I must admit that I am thinking of writing a book).
By the way, I would like to thank all those who write to me directly by e-mail. If possible, I try to write back regularly. But as many of you know, I quite often encourage you to live where you are. Not in the email.
Because in my opinion, real life doesn't happen on the Internet. And it will never be. Unless our race develops in such a way that we start to contact extrasensory and then the Internet will move to our minds.
What do we really need the other man for
From various Internet experiences, I also have many observations about how to conduct discussions. And it's not about extreme cases of rude or immature behavior. It's about being able to form your thoughts and conduct discussions constructively. This skill can be learned, such as the art of giving presentations or speaking in public. And at the base, first and foremost, is the ability to hear another person and see through their eyes.
My clients know that we often apply the magnifying glass from different angles and angles in our coaching sessions. Because naturally, each of us looks at the matter from our own perspective. It's like looking into a dark circular room through a keyhole. We will only see what illuminates our eyes and what our doors indicate. Therefore, another observer is needed who knows that there are other doors and also knows where these doors are 😀